Going Gray Gracefully
We’re taking a break from home content today to talk about gray hair. Over the years I’ve shared about my choice to quit dyeing my hair, the grow out process, faq’s, and how my twin sister and my approaches to gray hair have differed. And today I wanted to dive into how I’m doing my damnedest to go gray gracefully. Because my goal is not just to endure my gray / grey / silver hair, but to actually like it. So I’ve changed some things up with my hair products, skincare, and wardrobe to fully embrace my grays and make them look their best. Let’s get into it…
First, the basics…I turned 40 this year and have been going gray slowly since high school. At first I pulled out the few gray strands I found sprinkled in my brunette hair. Then I started highlighting and a few years later, moved on to all-over dye every 3-4 weeks. In 2018, I was fed up and decided to embrace my grays and abandon the dye all together. After doing some bleach washes and highlights to ease the growout skunk line, I cut my hair short, wore a lot of hats, and let the grays grow in.
the growout process
Not going to lie, the growout process was awkward and hard and if I could do it all over again I’d probably use semi-permanent dye to get through it. It took me awhile to get over not being a brunette anymore, and even longer to find out the products, styles, and colors that work best for me, but I’m finally at a point where I can say honestly that I like my gray hair! It’s unique and healthy and natural and…me. And that’s what going gray gracefully is all about IMO.
I love the way gray hair shimmers in natural light and looks more white. It gets me excited for what’s to come. That’s another thing I love about gray hair…just like unlacquered brass and marble countertops, it gets better with age!
Haircare tools + products
I have pretty thick hair and it’s become more coarse and less curly as I’ve gotten older, so my main goal with products is to keep my hair hydrated and avoid brassy tones and frizz. I’ve found a few great products that help me, which I’m sharing below. I will say that one of my favorite things about my gray hair is how much healthier and softer it is now that I quite dying it all the time (product #3 helps in that department too!).
1 // purple shampoo - I’ve tried all the purple shampoos and this is by far my favorite. It’s a MUST to keep my hair from getting brassy or green. I use this with every wash right now since I’m only washing my hair once or twice a week.
2 // straightener - when my 10-year-old straighter finally called it quits, I bought this one at the recommendation of my sis. After drying my hair with a blowdryer I use this stranger to smooth out frizz and volume and add waves - works great!
3 // leave-in treatment - I LOVE this product! I swear it makes my hair so soft and it’s made me a loyal Aveda customer! I put a little in after every wash, comb it through, and style.
4 // deep conditioner - I’ve used this product on and off for years now. I wash with it twice a month(ish) and it helps leave hair hydrated and more manageable.
5 // style prep spray - I’m always looking for a good style prep since I style with heat and my hair stylist turned me on to this. I use a few sprays before drying.
6 // light hair spray - I’m not usually a big fan of hair spray but this stuff holds without that crusty feeling I remember from my teenage years. I spray a little on after adding waves in my hair with my straighter and it helps them last. The key is not to use too much!
The colors I wear now
One thing I’ve noticed, is that the colors I wore back when I was a brunette don’t always look good on me now. Gray hair has a serious ability to wash out my pale skin tone, and it appears I’m not the only one, because this is one of the topics I get asked about the most. So I decided to try on 8 shirts/sweaters in varying colors in front of my vanity mirror to see what works best with my gray locks. ps thanks to my sis for letting me raid her closet for some of these!
Outfits: White shirt, Gray sweater, Striped cream sweater, camel sweater (similar), Light pink sweater, Bright pink sweater, maroon sweater (similar), Navy sweater, watch, nail polish, jeans.
So which of these colors do I wear now? Well the light brown/camel color is no longer my friend. The white, creams, and light grays work, but I don’t like them as much as I did when I was a brunette. I think the dark, jewel-tone, and bright colors look the best with my coloring now.
Regarding makeup, I started wearing self-tanner year round - just a drop or two in my lotion or sunscreen to keep me from looking washed out. And I usually add this bronzer on top of that. I’ve been told a bold eye or a bold lip goes well with gray hair and since I’m not much of a lipstick person, I started wearing this eyeliner. Plus black mascara, always and occasionally a tinted lip glow if I’m feeling fancy.
Skincare
I don’t know if it’s my gray hair or turning 40 this year, but I’ve become serious about skincare. I don’t leave the house without sunscreen on and a hat in my bag and I’m no longer the sun worshipper I was in my youth. I’m also drinking lots of water, using retinol in my nighttime lotion (using this one right now), and taking collagen supplements. I can’t always tell what’s working, but I have noticed healthy living helps my skin look it’s best!
For the record, I have zero issues with wrinkles - I think they can add character and charm to a face in such a lovely way - but with my hair already gray, I feel extra self-conscious of wrinkles aging me right now. I hate the vanity in that sentence, but there you have it. I wish I could go back and tell my 20-year-old self to WEAR MORE SUNSCREEN! but since I can’t, I’m doing my best to keep my skin happy and healthy and, yes, as youthful as possible.
Four years into this gray hair journey and I can honestly say, I like my gray hair and it feels like me. Pretty sure that’s what going gray gracefully is all about.
xx
